No Ho Hos for Blow Up Christmas Globes

Christmas GlobeWe got our Christmas ornaments out of storage yesterday and C has started pestering me about getting a tree. Not one of my favorite chores mind you since I’m sweeping out pine needles from the car for three months.

Now, before you all start bombarding me with “Dear Ebeneezer” letters, I am as filled with the Christmas spirit as any other guy. I’ve been know to sip eggnog, I wrap my own gifts (poorly, I’d like to add) and I’ll crank up the Christmas tunes just like everyone else. But JerseyCool has stumbled upon a disturbing new trend this holiday season: the blow up lawn ornament.

Yes, what normally was once reserved for windowless, adult toy stores along Route 1 has been Christmasized and moved to your neighbors lawn. You know what I’m talking about and you’ve probably hit the breaks as you’ve driven past these monstrosities dotting the suburban landscape.

Inflatable Christmas characters, sometimes by themselves, sometimes encased in a giant inflatable snow glob have become the annoying lawn decoration of choice. And these things aren’t tiny. No, they’re anywhere from 6-10 feet tall.

I’ve got nothing against Christmas decorations. We get a tree every year, we throw some holiday lights on the terrace and C likes to get tinsel everywhere. I even like driving by the houses that have covered every inch of their property with a bizillion lights. Those decorations are somewhat creative, but I am not particularly impressed with someone laying down a few hundred bucks at Home Depot for an inflatable piece of lawn crap.

Yeah, these things run into the hundreds of dollars. Funds that could be used to, oh I don’t know, give to charity, maybe.

Usually the crassness of this season doesn’t get to me too much. I’ve gotten used to seeing Christmas decorations on and around Labor Day, I’ve gotten used to seeing people stampede stores on Black Friday. We live in a consumer age and you have to live in your age, but can we at least draw the line at tacky ornaments that will, in all likelihood, stay on the neighbor’s lawn until March.

Suppose this latest fad takes off. Suppose in a couple months people start hoisting giant Valentine’s Day hearts, Easter Bunnies and on Memorial Day you know there will be a pissing contest over who has the biggest inflatable flag.

If you’re thinking of going to the stores this weekend and dropping some currency on one of these things JerseyCool has a suggestion. Below are links to several charities we like around here. These are just suggestions. JC doesn’t like to tell people what to do with their cash, much less where to give it. But, I’d rather see you people give moneyto a bum who’se gonna blow the wad on some Jack Daniels and Rumplemintz.

In our humble opinion that would be more in line with the supposed spirit of the season.

Instead of Buying an Inflatable Piece of Lawn Crap

Community Foodbank of NJ

USO Cares

American Diabetes Association


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